Respecting your children’s privacy – New parenting style


Children’s privacy has been a major concern for many parents. Whether you like it or not, it is undeniably true that privacy is of great importance in the society these days. Also, it is vital that you teach your children to respect other people’s privacy. However, it is not always easy for parents to fully understand it as well as practice what they preach.

As parents, you have your own concerns and worries about your children’s performance at school, their relationship with people inside and outside of school, especially when they are teenagers – the age that is the most easily influenced by their friends and surrounding people. Nevertheless, the term “the right to privacy” has appeared and built the awareness among people. What is the right to privacy? Do children actually need the right to privacy? Why is it significant now while it was NOT at all in the past? What would happen if it is not advocated by parents?

The question is how to help parents to find the balance between their parenting style and their chidren’s privacy?

First, you need to understand why your children need their privacy?

1. This is the vital process in the development of psychology and health. When we are growing up, our need for privacy is getting stronger. The right to privacy plays an important role in the grown-up life, which means the privacy of living space as well as personal needs and emotional life. As parents, you have to fully understand your children’s yearn for privacy that does not mean they are hiding something away from you. This is basically a sign of maturity.

2. This is also the trend of the society. Today, the awareness of people has gradually increased together with our integration with modern culture of Western countries, which is the great encouragement and paves the way for young generation to gain their right to privacy.

3. Respecting other people’s privacy is the demonstration of civilization our society is aiming for. In our society, the right to privacy is of great importance, even the privacy of minors. Legal documents in Vietnam and around the world state very clearly that every child has the right to privacy that should be strictly implemented.

So, when parents are concerned or worried about whether their supervision for their children is proper, they should question themselves and put themselves in their shoes. You also go through the age of puberty, thus, if you truly listen and understand what they need, you will find the thin line between your supervision and your respect for your children’s privacy.

How can parents have effective supervision and respect their children’s privacy simultaneously?

1. Building trust. Show your trust for your children. If you trust them, it would make them feel confident and find it easy to open up to you. Once they sense that they are allowed to have so much control of their life, they feel respected and responsible for their own manners. The best supervision should be based on trust and establish the connection to your children.

2. Teach them about responsibilities. Once your children have a sense of responsibility for what they have done, their self-awareness and consideration about their actions will greatly enhance. You should let them make a decision and be responsible if that decision results in bad consequences, and give them encouragement if that decision is right. Gradually, they will be wary of their actions, distinguish between right and wrong and consider the consequences of their decisions.

3. Guide them to understand the core of the problem rather than impose your thoughts on them. Avoid making principles. Instead, guide them to understand the problem and to be able to explain for their actions. This will help them to develop the ability to consider their decisions carefully before taking actions and to arrive at the best possible solution.

4. Establish the steady relationship between parents and children.

  • Organize family activities such as having dinner together, going out for a coffee on weekends, gathering with their friends so they can realize that parents can also be their friends, which helps to build a strong bond between family members.
  • Make time to listen and talk to them about every little thing. Be gentle and subtle. Even when you are curious about something and want to know what it is, do not grill them on that.
  • Do not judge their personal life. Respect their hobbies as well as their decisions.
  • Develop some habits such as knock before entering your children’s room, do not spy as well as go through your children’s belongings, do not throw out any of their stuff without asking. Those habits will make your children feel that their privacy is not violated.


Respecting your children’s privacy does not mean you can neglect their unusual behaviors. Take immediate actions if you notice their unusual behaviors such as sudden quietness, time changes of going to school and coming home, declining grades, or inexplicable injuries on the body, etc. to avoid bad things that might happen to your children or help them to change their behaviors. However, be gentle and understanding, instead of “being enraged”, ask them to talk about their problems and make them feel they are much cared without overstepping their boundary.

Justice Magic

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